


To you, a lifetime from now.

by PKSamurai



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Growing Pains, M/M, Modern AU, Reincarnation AU, Tea Shop Owner Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-09-25 23:52:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17131061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PKSamurai/pseuds/PKSamurai
Summary: In modern day Tokyo, life isn't always easy for Eren, especially when he's the only one who remembers their past.





	To you, a lifetime from now.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aargle_Baargle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aargle_Baargle/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I’ve only really watched the first season of the anime and read a bit of the wiki! Sorry beforehand if I get anything wrong.
> 
> A BIG THANK YOU to BLUE who helped me edit this draft a billion times.

_On the battlefield watched over by the rising sun, the last words left for him were, "Please don't forget me."_

_He promised back, "I won't."_

_._

_._

_._

* * *

Sometimes, Eren dreamt of another life.

Taking place in a world populated by human-eating monsters called titans, they were terrible dreams, filled with death and carnage. When he was younger, he would often wake up crying, and his mother would rock him in her arms.

“It’s okay my _schatz_ ,” she would say into his ear, stroking his hair. “I’m here.”

Yet even as the details of his dream began to fade in the dimness of his bedroom, the unforgettable image of a grinning titan and blood splattering through the air remained burned into his eyes. “She ate you,” he would mumble over and over again to his mother, as she held him. “She ate you.”

Thinking back now, he shouldn’t have said that to her, because he must have cursed her somehow. There shouldn’t have been any titans in this world, but she became very sick and went somewhere far, far away.

Not long afterwards, his father told Eren that they were moving to a country called Japan for his work.

“Is that where Mom is?” asked Eren.

His father froze, looking stricken. “No, it's not that far. I'm sorry, Eren. I miss her too.”

“Don't be sorry. It's not your fault.”

“Thank you, Eren.” Kneeling down, his father embraced him.

Eren shook his head, because his father hadn’t understood. “It's my fault. I let the titans have her.” He felt fat tears well up in his eyes. “She said she didn't want to be alone, but I ran away.”

His father drew back and gave Eren a very strange look. “What're you talking about, Eren? What titans?”

“The titans that ate mom,” Eren insisted. “But don't worry, dad. When I'm bigger, I'll kill them all.”

* * *

After they moved to Japan--a place where cars drove on the wrong side of the road and he didn’t understand what people on the street were saying--his father started taking Eren to see a woman who introduced herself as Dr. Zoë and asked him to talk about his dreams. When Eren told her that he had also seen her in his dreams, and that she had done all sorts of weird things to his body, she quickly put an end to their sessions for some reason, leaving Eren free to watch TV and wander the neighborhood.

Meanwhile, his father started staying out late at night, coming home with a big smile and smelling of a strange perfume. And then a few months later, his father came home with a woman on his arm and an unwelcome announcement: “Eren, you’re going to have a new mom.”

His new stepmother was a pretty Asian woman with gentle eyes, and she also had a daughter. When he first laid eyes on his stepsister, his stomach flipped.

"You're... Mikasa." While she was smaller than he remembered from his dreams, it was definitely her.

“This is your new brother I told you about. His name is Eren.”

Mikasa shyly peeked out from behind her mother’s legs. “...Hello...”

It didn’t surprise Eren that she didn’t remember him, when his own father thought he was crazy. But something about the Mikasa before him--was it the way her body folded into itself, as though trying to hide in plain sight?--drew a frown from Eren. “What’s wrong with you?”

His father’s pincer grip on his shoulder tightened warningly. "Now, now, Eren. _Behave_.”

After that, the table that had previously seated just Eren and his father for meals expanded to seat four. Their first night, his new stepmother prepared a feast. Having gotten used to Chinese takeout and microwavable dinners, Eren stared down at his plate filled to the brim with hot, homemade food. It smelled delicious; his stomach gurgled.

"You've barely touched your food, Eren," his father said sternly. "Even though she made goulasch for you."

"Is it not to your liking?" His stepmother wrung her hands. "Would you like me to make you something else instead?"

"You don't have to spoil him."

Even as his stomach growled in protest, Eren mumbled something about not being hungry and got up. Before he disappeared up the stairway to his room, he looked back and saw his father smiling warmly at his new stepmother and at Mikasa. At that, Eren felt his heart ache.

That night, he squeezed his eyes shut and made a wish. He wished they would get back on a plane and fly across the ocean to somewhere far, far away.

But when he awoke, nothing had changed.

* * *

Nobody had ever believed Eren's dreams were real, and yet nobody could explain how Eren knew how to do certain things. A homeless man at a local park once tried to talk to Eren and suddenly found himself flipped onto his back--not that the bemused police officer believed his blabbering.

To everyone's relief, as Eren got older, his dreams about being eaten by titans began to fade and in its place, he started seeing other details of his dream self's life. Some were about his childhood there, growing up in a town by the edge of a gigantic wall that filled the sky, while others were about his time in the training corps.

Eventually, his other self grew old enough to join the Survey Corps--and it was there, that he met him.

* * *

_The light from the torches casts the shadow of his cell's bars along the stone walls of the dungeon._

_He can still recall the agony of the titan's teeth crushing the bones of his arm, still feel how it'd been ripped away from the rest of his body. And yet his arm is right here, completely intact--albeit chained, at the moment._

_There are two men outside the cell, observing him. One is tall and powerful-looking, and the other is smaller and darker._

_"Answer up, you piece of crap. What do you want to do?" says the dark-haired man. While he must be a head shorter than Eren, he knows that this man alone is deadlier than an entire squad of veteran soldiers._

_Eren feels his hands ball into fists. He knows his life hangs in the balance; right now, only the truth will get him through. "I want to join the Survey Corps...and kill as many titans as I can."_

_The man's eyes glint in the torchlight. "Oh? Not bad. Erwin." The man steps towards him. "I'll take responsibility for him."_

* * *

Leaving behind the international school he'd been attending, his father enrolled Eren in the same local school as Mikasa, where he learned early on that the kids at his new school didn't like outsiders. The first day, they crowded around his desk, bombarding him with questions.

"You're from Germany? Say something in German, then."

"Do you speak Japanese?"

"Harumi-chan said she saw you coming here with Mikasa-chan. Are you two dating?"

"No, we're not," he snapped.

By that point, he had been in Japan long enough that he had a rough understanding of the language, and this revelation was met with a few murmurs.

"Aren't you glad, Narukawa?" someone teased a boy. "We all know you like her."

"Shut up, no, I don't."

One of the girls touched Eren's hair. "So what are you two, then?"

Eren batted her hand aside. The girl started as Eren shoved his chair back, stood up, and stared her down. "That's none of your business."

A split second passed--and then the girl started crying. In a flash, the rest of the class turned to stare at him, and the crowd that had gathered around him dispersed.

The nail that sticks out gets hammered down: That was the beginning of the end for Eren. He was big enough and his temper short enough that they didn't dare to approach him directly. But his desk became covered with scribbles calling him a foreigner, and his shoes disappeared often enough that he got the message loud and clear.

One day, Eren was standing in front of his shoe locker, when he heard a voice behind him.

"We're not that different, you know."

He turned around to see a blond-headed boy hunched over, tying his shoelaces. "What do you mean?"

"They just like that I'm blonde and blue-eyed," said the boy. "And I don't pick fights with the older kids like you do." He straightened up, and Eren saw that his eyes were, indeed, the color of the ocean.

At the sight of the boy's face, Eren felt his mouth drop open, and clammed up; in his dreams, this boy had been his best friend. Unfortunately, by the time Eren had managed to find his tongue, he had long since left.

Whereas Eren had not bothered to previously distinguish the crowd of faces at his new school, he began an active search the next day. He soon spotted Armin in the hallway, surrounded by a group of his friends, which gave Eren some pause--but plucking up his courage, he approached them.

"Hey, Armin,” he offered a smile. “My name is Eren."

Armin didn't respond, looking blankly off into the distance as though he’d suddenly become blind and deaf. His friends started to whisper amongst themselves.

"That's that German kid who transferred into class 5-A."

"Maybe he thought you were a _gaijin_  too."

"You know him, Aru?"

Apparently back in full possession of his senses, Armin shook his head. "No, I don't. C'mon, let's go."

They left Eren standing in the hallway alone, his face burning from the rejection. It would have hurt more, if he wasn't already used to it.

Someone brushed roughly past him and he turned to see one of the boys in his class direct a hostile glare at him before stalking away.

There was a giggle from a group of girls nearby: "I heard he was going to confess to Mikasa-chan today. I guess he got rejected."

Eren wouldn't have thought much more of it if not for the fact that after that, Mikasa started coming home without her shoes. 

When he saw that her face was wet with tears, he said, under his breath, “Fight back.”

One afternoon, he caught sight of her bent over a wash basin, trying to wash scribbles off her PE clothes. The girls he had previously seen with his sister were nowhere in sight; she was alone.

“Fight back,” he whispered.

Weeks passed without further incident and he'd thought the whole thing had blown over when he caught sight of the boy in his class standing in front of a shoe locker--Mikasa's locker. He was putting something inside, while another boy stood guard. When the latter saw Eren approaching, his eyes widened and he tried to warn his friend, but it was too late.

"What're you doing?" Eren demanded.

The first boy jerked back, shocked, and Eren saw something shiny clatter down from his hands onto the floor, rolling to his feet. Bending over, he picked it up, and realized it was a thumbtack.

Wordlessly, Eren straightened up and looked at the two boys. While the one who'd been standing guard looked scared and began to back away, the first boy looked almost eager, and as Eren raised his fist, all he could feel was something growing hotter and hotter behind his eyes.

He punched the boy so hard, he felt the skin on his knuckles rip, and the sharp pain was so delicious, he did it a few more times.

When he'd returned to his senses, the other boy was on the ground, blood pouring from his nose; when he opened his bloodied mouth to cry out, Eren saw that his two front teeth were missing.

There was a lot of shouting after that. Drawn by the noise and blood, a small group of bystanders gathered around the two, growing bigger and bigger until it seemed half the school was there, staring Eren down.

He caught sight of Mikasa's face in the crowd, and to his dismay, she averted her gaze.

Eventually, the teachers arrived and his parents were called.

"Why would you do such a thing?" cried his horrified stepmother.

His face burned and his insides were boiling. He felt like he would burst from everything he was feeling, but the words to express them were garbled in his head. Even so, Eren opened his mouth to defend himself--when his head snapped to the side, his cheek stinging from the blow. As his father lowered his hand, Eren caught sight of his face.

While the stares of his classmates hadn't discouraged him, his father's look of pure disdain caused the words to shrivel away in his throat. As quickly as it had risen, the heat in Eren dissipated, and he fell silent.

 _Ah_ , he thought. Like everyone else, his father had left him too. Here, he was alone.

In the midst of a crowd of jeering stares, slowly but surely, he felt the world screeching to a stop.

* * *

As the years passed and Eren began to learn more about the world in his dreams, he still didn't fully understand why he was having these dreams or what they meant. Was it all the product of an overactive imagination, or was Eren really seeing the events of a previous life? Was it trying to show him something?

When he was younger, he had been so sure that it was all real. As he grew older, however, he became less and less sure.

Whatever the truth was, if there was one thing he had learned, it was that nobody else had these dreams or remembered the world that he saw in increasing vividity with every passing day.

As his dreams took on color and life, his waking moments seemed to grow increasingly grey. After a scuffle with some upperclassmen behind the school, Eren found himself flat on his back, looking up at the sky--his eyes and nose swollen, his knuckles bruised--when he realized that he had become empty.

* * *

_A shiny steel gun levies its barrel towards him -_

_Out of nowhere, a booted foot slams itself into his face. As his brain struggles to process the shock and pain of the impact, Eren feels his mouth fill with blood and hears the telltale clatter of a tooth hitting the ground._

_He twists back around just in time to see the man standing before him, when without a shred of hesitation or mercy on his face, he rears back and kicks him in the gut. Out of breath, Eren bowls over._

_A hand yanks him roughly by the hair, and this time, a knee flies in his face with a crunch. Eren feels his nose crack._

_The courtroom falls silent as over and over again the man beats Eren, pummeling him into the ground. Through the din of pain, Eren thinks he can hear Armin shouting at Mikasa to stop._

_And then, finally--Eren finds himself bleeding facedown on the cold tiled ground, the rough heel of a boot grinding down onto the back of his head._

_"This is a personal opinion," declares a cold voice. "But I believe pain to be the best way to train someone. What you need is to be trained like a dog, not a man."_

_After the demonstration, it is decided that Eren will be handed over to the Survey Corps. Eren has just shaken hands with the commander when the couch dips as the man seats himself beside him._

_Wearing a look of disinterested impatience, the man says, "Hey, Eren."_

_The memory of the beating still fresh in his mind, Eren instinctively flinches back. "Yes, sir?"_

_The man directs a shrewd look at him. "Do you resent me?"_

_Eren swallows. "N-no… I understand why it was necessary."_

_"That's good," says the man, his lips quirking up in a faint smile._

* * *

The cafe was dark, lit up only by the glow of computer screens peeking out from the individual cubicles. While it stank of cigarette smoke, it was relatively clean and had a shower. Most importantly, it was only 800 yen a night; his father had cut off his allowance when he entered high school, and the only money he had was from the odd part-time job here and there, so every yen counted.

Eren was just about to nod off to sleep in his cubicle when something ripped his headphones away from his ears.

"Eren!"

He jerked, looking up. It took his eyes a moment to adjust, but it was Mikasa, of course. For some reason, no matter where he hid, she always managed to pop up out of nowhere to find him.

Whenever his father was away on business and Eren couldn't take the way his stepmother looked at him, like she didn't know what to make of him or what to do with him, he would leave the house--he felt like he had to, before something within him collapsed in on itself.

"I'm coming back tomorrow, so leave me alone," said Eren, snatching the headphones back.

"Are you serious? Don't you know how worried Mom and Dad are?" Mikasa hissed. "And _me_?"

The time when she'd been bullied in elementary school must have shocked Mikasa's true personality out into the open, for ever since then, she'd grown bolder and bull-headed. Unfortunately, it seemed that she'd also taken it upon herself to succeed where her parents had failed, and rein Eren in.

"Why do you care? You're not even my sister," snapped Eren.

Though that line had made her cry the first time he'd said it, by now, it didn't seem to even faze her. On the contrary, she rolled her eyes. "Ugh. You're the worst. You know, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself for once and think about just how much Mom and Dad are trying to help you."

Eren closed his eyes. "She's not my mom, either.”

He heard Mikasa heave a sigh, and then the sound of her footsteps faded away. When he cracked an eye open, she was nowhere in sight.

By then, he didn't feel like sleeping any longer, and he checked his inbox. There was a new message, and reading the subject line, he felt his groin stir in excitement:

 _From: Jean_ _  
_ _Subject: Wanna come over?_

They'd discovered one another a few months ago on an online forum, when Eren had noticed his name. After some idle chit chat back and forth, they exchanged photos, and Eren confirmed that it was, indeed, the same horse-faced boy from the Training Corps in his dreams.

They said that there was a thin line between love and hate, and that was around where their relationship stood. Jean never asked questions about Eren--he simply didn't care--and Eren never asked questions about Jean. All Jean wanted was to feel good, and all Eren wanted was to forget. At the very least, they could do that for one another.

* * *

_The setting sun casts a red glow over the remnants of the Survey Corps as they return to the safety of Wall Maria. They are quiet, the only sounds of their homecoming marked by the clip clop of the horses, the squeaking of the wagon spokes, and the groaning of the wounded._

_Several years have passed since Eren first joined the Survey Corps, and by this point, he has made this journey dozens of times. And each time, without fail, despite the recent surge in new recruits, their numbers are fewer than when they first set out. As a result, the faces of the common people are never happy, and murmurs of dissatisfaction only grow stronger with every passing year._

_“Captain,” says Eren, bringing his horse closer to the front where the captain and the commander are leading the squad. “Jean’s mother was asking after his personal effects.”_

_Their most recent raid has hit Squad Levi hard, with the losses of Jean Kirstein and Sasha Blouse. Worse, despite their sacrifices, they have nothing to show for it._

_“...I’ll talk to her,” says the captain, after a pause._

_While his face is as stoic as always, Eren knows the man well enough by this point to read the internal turmoil drawn in the creases on his forehead._ _Watching the captain's retreating back, Eren reaches up with a hand--and then lowers it. As much as he hates to admit it, there's nothing he can do for the captain._

_They are used to death. It’s a fact of life that every moment may be their last--and yet, it never gets any easier._

* * *

It was on an early day in winter when they finally met.

The weather was being fickle that week, rollercoastering back and forth between temperatures, and on his way home from school, it started to rain. A drizzle turned into sheets of rain pouring from the overcast skies. In ignorance of the weather forecast, Eren hadn't brought an umbrella, so he took refuge inside a nearby tea shop he’d never stepped foot in before.

The door clanged shut behind him to the pleasant ring of a chime. As Eren wiped the raindrops off his pants, he looked around: Though it was a small, unassuming space, with just a few tables and minimalistically furnished, it was clean and well-kept.

"Welcome," said a low, dry voice.

His hands jerking, Eren froze.

The voice shouldn’t have been familiar to him, if he didn’t hear it every night he dreamed.

It couldn’t be him.

But when he looked up, he saw that it was.

In another lifetime, he had been regarded as humanity's strongest soldier, and Eren had called him captain.

"Would you like anything?" said the aproned man from behind the counter.

In this lifetime, it seemed, the illustrious Captain Levi ran a tea shop.

Caught under his eagle-eyed scrutiny, Eren floundered, blurting out, "Can I... have a green tea?"

Levi's eyes glinted. "Certainly."

Seating himself, Eren eagerly watched the dark-haired man open a bin of what proved to be tea leaves, and silently followed step by step as he brewed the tea. Minus the scarring, he was an exact doppelganger of the decorated soldier he remembered from his dreams; it seemed Levi’s height must have been a casualty of genetics rather than malnutrition, for his lack of it had also remained the same.

As the seconds ticked by, Eren felt his smile slide off his face as one thing was made clear: The man had no idea who Eren was.

He had thought that by this point, he was past being disappointed. And yet, the emotion was undeniably there, aching in his chest. Though he hated to admit it, somewhere deep down, he'd thought that of all people, the captain, at the very least, would be different.

Suddenly starting to regret coming into the tea shop, Eren mentally kicked himself. However, it was too late to back out now; the thick aroma of green tea filled his senses as Levi poured the brew into a teacup. Resigning himself to his fate, Eren reached for it.

It was at the exact moment that he raised the cup to his lips that he remembered he’d left his wallet at home.

Eren choked, the scalding hot liquid burning his tongue.

"...Careful," came Levi's voice, belatedly. He was slicing a roll with what appeared to be a butter knife, and as Eren’s throat burned, his eyes shot straight to the knife.

Given the loving ease with which Levi handled the blade, and the fact that the captain in his dreams had never been the type to be held back by such trivialities as human rights, Eren felt his rising sense of panic was well-justified.

Looking around desperately, his gaze landed on a flier on the counter: _'Part-timer for cafe wanted, 1400 yen/hour. No prior experience needed.'_

Eren felt his eyes bulge out, and had to read it again to confirm-- _1400 yen?!_  That was almost twice the average starting pay of a typical part-time job.

In a flash, the answer to all his troubles came to him.

"Can... I work here?" he blurted out.

A beat passed--and then Levi raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "Hm." His gaze swept over Eren's disheveled school uniform. "How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"Hm." There was a pause--Eren felt a bead of sweat forming on his temple--and then Levi lowered his knife. "Can you clean and follow instructions?"

Despite the fact that the man was at least a head shorter than Eren, his sharp, unwavering gaze made him cast an imposing figure.

Eren gulped. "Yes, sir."

"Then you can start tomorrow. Don't be late. If I see you slacking off on your phone, you're fired." Thrusting his hands into his apron pocket, Levi drew out a ring with two keys. "And don't lose these. You're going to be closing the shop at night." He tossed it to Eren.

Taken aback, his hand automatically snapped up and, with a jangle, grabbed the keys in midair. Eren blinked down at the other man. "That... that's it? You trust me, just like that?"

Levi let out an irritable _tch_. "Who said anything about trust? I needed a part-timer, and here you are. If it comes down to it..." He gave Eren a steely look that made him want to take a step back. "I think I can handle one lone brat."

It sounded like something Captain Levi would have said, and Eren felt his heart skip a beat.

"Yes, sir. And..." He gestured sheepishly to his cup. "If you don’t mind, can I put the first hour towards this?”

* * *

_They’ve taken up camp at an abandoned lodge by the edge of the woods. Its previous residents must have left in a hurry, for dishes and utensils are laid out on the table in preparation for a meal that will never happen. A cauldron sits over ashes in the fireplace, the contents long having evaporated away, leaving only a pile of bones and dust._

_The others are settling in for the night, whether that means tending to the horses or performing maintenance on their blades and equipment. Eren, however, is searching for the captain._

_He isn’t in the barn, nor is he in the stables. He isn’t in the kitchen, nor the study._

_It’s turning twilight and Eren is just about to call for a search party when the captain comes walking nonchalantly out of the woods._

_“Captain,”_ _he calls out, relieved, and rushes forward._

_At the sound of the title, the veteran soldier looks up. It must be an effect of the setting sun, because while his features are usually schooled and almost harsh, awash in red and purple hues, they seem softer now._

_“Ah, Eren. The fact that you're out here must mean the house is all cleaned up?”_

_Eren draws up short and feels his heart rate begin to speed up. “I... Well...”_

_In his usual way, the captain raises a critical eyebrow. Eren flinches back, expecting the usual tongue lashing--but instead, the captain faces the sky and draws in a crisp breath. “How nice.”_

_The look on the captain's face, his tone of voice, his words... it's all too much for Eren, who feels himself flush. The captain's gaze turns to him, and he feels the heat spreading all the way to the tips of his ears. He knows he's making it too obvious, and he wants to hide--but he doesn't. Because he wants to know._

* * *

"You call this cleaned?" Levi raised a gloved pinky to reveal a smidge of dust. "This won't do at all. Wipe all the tables again."

"Yes, sir."

"What kind of greeting was that to the customer? We're trying to make them feel welcome, not intimidated."

"Yes, sir."

"Why are the receipts all over the counter? I want them pinned in chronological order by the end of today."

"Yes, sir."

Working for Levi was as hard as he had dreamed it had been, and after this latest round of criticism, Eren felt himself deflate. While he had been prepared to fully commit himself to meeting Levi’s impossible expectations, it was still demoralizing to see his efforts of the past few hours be met with such a curt dismissal.

It was quickly becoming apparent why, despite the generous hourly rate, the part-time position had been open.

Despite his obvious dissatisfaction with Eren’s work, however, Levi didn't threaten to fire him. And at the end of the first day, when Eren was winding down and taking off his apron in the backroom, Levi joined him.

Sliding a cup of tea over to Eren, Levi took a sip out of his own cup, and despite himself, Eren felt a smile creep to his lips: Levi was holding it over the top instead of by the handle, the way he remembered from his dreams.

"So, will I be seeing you back tomorrow?"

"Yes, sir."

Levi took a deep draught of his drink. "Hmm."

It was amazing, Eren thought, how many different things Levi could express with a single sound.

As promised, Eren showed up the next day after school, and to his credit, Levi looked mildly surprised.

* * *

_It's a bleak day for humanity when Armin Arlert and Commander Erwin Smith are killed in action. It's not just the loss of two brilliant minds that stings--it feels like the very heart and soul of the Survey Corps, respectively, have been extinguished. The world has been made worse by their absence, and it rains all day as though the heavens themselves are weeping._

_When the rain doesn't stop all night, and the trenches that they dug threaten to overflow, Eren thinks bitterly of the ocean that Armin never got to see._

_The following few days are a daze for Eren. He keeps expecting a blond head to appear at his shoulder with another crazy plan to defeat the titans. Probably the only reason he doesn't starve is because Mikasa regularly forces him to eat._

_When Eren emerges from his tunnel, the first thing he does is look for the captain. He quickly finds him inside the new commander's tent, and when he bursts in, they're already planning their next course of action. At his entry, the pair look up in surprise._

_Captain Levi's eyes rake over Eren. "I see you're back on your feet."_

_"Ah, Eren," says Hange. "How are your wounds doing? I'm sorry I haven't been able to experiment on you as much these days."_

_Despite her cheery voice, Hange looks overwhelmed, like you could topple her with a single touch. She must have lost ten pounds since Eren last saw her. The captain, on the other hand--if not for the bandaged arm, you wouldn't even be able to tell that he's just scraped through a horrific battle. His features are tired but his sharp eyes look ever straight ahead, and even as that brings a sense of relief to Eren, something deep inside of him clenches in fear._

_He can't help but wonder: One day when he is gone from this world--and he will go before the captain, because Captain Levi is humanity's strongest soldier--will the captain pause for even a moment to remember him?_

* * *

Many of the tea shop's regular customers were foreign residents who seemed to consider the place a refuge from Japanese homogeneity. Regardless of their Japanese skill level--which ranged from self-taught and broken to native Kansai-ben--all were welcome, and the shop often buzzed with the languages of several different continents.

One day, hearing the bell chime, Eren turned to greet the newcomer--and felt his words die from his lips as he met Armin's startled gaze. While they hadn't seen each other since Eren had transferred out of their elementary school, judging from the way Armin was imitating a deer caught in headlights, he had recognized Eren as well.  

"...Welcome!" Eren greeted with a big, cheesy smile.

Levi had trained him well.

For a second, Eren thought that Armin would turn on his heel and flee the shop. To his surprise, however--while avoiding eye contact the entire time--the other boy ordered a hōji-cha and started studying at a corner table.

It didn't take long for Levi to notice that Eren was shooting quick glances in his general direction. Following his line of sight, Levi raised an eyebrow as it landed on the quiet blond boy in the corner.

"Your friend?"

At once, memories of the other world flashed through Eren's mind. As children, they had talked of exploring the outside world together; as adults, Eren had wept over his cold, stiff body. But here, the only memory they shared was a brief confrontation in a hallway full of children.

"No," said Eren.

Levi simply said, "Hmm," and pointedly returned to his own work.

As Eren mopped the floor, he observed the other man from the corner of his eye. Despite being in such close proximity to Levi all the time nowadays, it felt as strange as it had in the beginning. At night when he slept, they were a captain and his subordinate; and in the day when he worked, they were a boss and his part-timer. His waking moments paralleled his dreams, but even as he felt closer and closer to Captain Levi, he could feel, all the more acutely, the distance between himself and the Levi who ran a tea shop.

While he had thought he would be satisfied with the disappointment of Levi not knowing him, to his chagrin, he found himself feeling only more and more curious about the other man.

“Levi-san, what’d you do before the tea shop?” asked Eren.

He’d expected an evasive response, and was surprised to hear Levi answer plainly, “I was a host.”

Eren blinked, having a hard time equating the dead-eyed man standing before him with the infamous womanizers who roamed Kabuki-cho. “Really? Why?”

“I needed money to open a tea shop.”

“...Do hosts make that much money?”

“At my peak, I was making over three million yen a month.”

Suddenly feeling dizzy, Eren had to stop mopping. “Three... three million?” he wheezed. He tried to do the math in his head to figure out how much that was in a year, and the sheer number of zeroes caused his brain to short circuit. “Why’d you stop?”

“I stopped needing the money.” Levi gestured to the mop in his hands. “And unless you’re feeling similarly comfortable financially, I suggest you get busy.”

Eren finished mopping.

Strangely enough, after that day, Armin--while always by himself--continued to show up to the shop every now and then to study in the corner.

* * *

_The snowstorm comes out of nowhere, separating them from the rest of the squad with violent squalls of wind and ice. Fortunately, they are able to find an abandoned cabin to stave off the cold for the night. As the captain tries to light a fire in the fireplace, the storm rages on in the background. The wind pounds at the window, as though demanding to be let inside._

_"It'll be hard to even dig out of here if this goes on for much longer, let alone find the others," Eren worries._

_The captain makes a tch sound, and stands up unsuccessfully from the fireplace; there isn't enough dry kinding, as Eren had feared. "Before that, we'll have to find another way to warm ourselves up." Beneath hooded eyes, he looks at Eren, who feels his face color. Despite their dire circumstances, his groin begins to stir._

_This thing between them--it's been going on for some months now. Eren doesn't know if the captain actually feels anything towards him, or if he's just playing along with Eren's puppy crush. But the captain, despite his stark appearance, is a caring lover; whether it's a rushed, rough quickie to simply take care of some pent up stress, or a drawn-out, explorative session, he always places Eren's satisfaction above his own._

_In the bedroom, the captain's body undulates above his own, his eyes closed in concentration. Sharp pain and dark pleasure has Eren moaning and his toes curling. The bed shakes with every thrust, every slap of flesh on flesh, and soon, the pain fades away. All he can feel is pleasure, building up higher and higher until finally, with a whimper, he goes over the edge._

_The captain follows shortly afterwards, and then rolls off to rest beside him. Their breathing slowing down in unison; Eren looks out_ _the window and sees the whole world has become white. It's quiet, and he is filled with a sense of calm he hasn't experienced in a long time._

_"It feels like we're the only ones alive," he says quietly._

_He thought he'd spoken quietly enough, but the captain responds, drily, "Fortunately, that isn't the case."_

_Eren blinks--and then, despite himself, he smiles._

* * *

Someone who'd probably led a terrible life once said that all good things must come to an end. For Eren, that end came when he'd been working at the tea shop for a month.

His father had come home from a business trip and the family sat down together for the first time in months. His stepmother had prepared a feast of mixed Japanese and German dishes in celebration.

“Your dad has something important to tell everyone,” said his stepmother, clasping her hands together.

While Mikasa put down her utensils, Eren ostentatiously continued to eat. Still, he kept a sharp eye on his father, who’d taken off his glasses and was now cleaning the lenses on a handkerchief. Maybe it was because of that, or maybe it was because it’d been half a year since Eren had last seen him--his face looked older, more lined than he remembered it last being.

Putting his glasses back on, his father cleared his throat. “I’m permanently transferring back to Munich next month. And I would like for you all to move with me.”

The table fell silent; Eren dropped his chopsticks.

His stepmother anxiously looked at them. “I know this will be hard for you all, but this means the whole family will be back together again.”

"One of my college friends is the chairman of a prestigious private school. It’ll be tough at first--especially for you, Mikasa--but I’ve always considered a German education to be superior to others.”

To Eren's dismay, Mikasa looked interested at this proposal. His heart sinking, he bent over to pick up his utensils from the ground. He noticed his fingers were shaking.

He thought, inexplicably, about the tea shop.

Straightening, he slammed his chopsticks down, and as everyone else at the table jumped, he glared at his father. “This, again? Uprooting me once wasn’t enough for you, is that what this is?”

His father regarded him with a look of irritation. “I don't appreciate your tone, Eren. Though it is asking a lot of you, I believe it’ll be in the family’s best interests to be together more - ”

“You mean _your_ best interests," Eren snapped. "For you, it's always been about what  _you_ need. It doesn't matter to you how hard it was for me to leave Germany and grow up in this country. All that mattered was that you got to start a new life, isn't that right?"

“Eren - ” his stepmother started.

Narrowing his eyes, Eren turned on her. “As for _you_ , if he can move the whole family so easily--what’s stopping him from finding another woman to marry?” Even as the words left his lips, he knew he had gone too far.

In a quick burst of déjà vu, Eren felt his head snap to the side, his cheek stinging from the blow. His father lowered his hand, eyes glowing furiously.

“Get out of my sight.”

Eren knocked his chair back. “Fine.” His whole family was looking at him, and he hated it, hated the way their eyes seared into him.

“Eren!” He heard Mikasa call out his name, but he left anyway, vindictively slamming the door behind him.

* * *

As soon as he was outside, the cold felt like a second slap to the face, and Eren wished he'd had the foresight to grab his coat. He was too angry and too proud to go back, however, so after a moment's thought, he decided to seek asylum in the subway. Taking out his phone, he scrolled past missed calls from Mikasa and his stepmother, and lingered at Levi’s number--before texting an S.O.S to Jean.

If his situation hadn't felt so immediately dire, it would've been almost funny that when shit hit the fan, his only options were his employer and his sex friend.

As he waited, Eren watched the people walking past. A few people gave him strange looks--a _gaijin_  dressed lightly in loungewear and in household slippers probably looked like trouble to them.

In a bitter, sarcastic sort of way, Eren wondered what his chances of bumping into Levi were. The tea shop was only two stops away on the local line, and it wouldn't have been out of the realms of possibility for the man to magically appear and save the day.

In the end, it was a slightly irritated-looking Jean who showed up.

Once at Jean’s apartment, sex was obligatory. He put up with it, letting Jean make him slick with lube and then hammer away before coming on Eren’s stomach. Eren stayed flaccid throughout and when Jean asked if he'd been drinking, he almost let out a derisive laugh.

After the cleanup, Jean--still naked--threw himself back on the bed. “You’re going to stay the night? That’s rare.”

His whole body aching, Eren turned his back to Jean and curled up. He didn’t want to be there, but he had nowhere else to go. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to fall asleep, because at least in his dreams, he could forget how empty he was.

* * *

_Smoke from their dinner is curling up into the sky over boughs of the newly budding trees when suddenly, a group of squawking birds burst into flight over Eren. He's just thinking that it's an ominous sign, when he sees it-a red flare, soaring in the distance. He and his fellow soldiers immediately jump to their feet. It's a distress signal from the neighboring camp, and it can mean only one thing: Titans._

_The ground starts shaking, and a lone scream rips through the descending darkness. The others are scrambling to retrieve their vertical maneuvering equipment. Eren would be too, but there's a feeling in his gut--is it from the years he's spent fighting for his life?--that it won't be enough. He raises his hand to his mouth, and he bites._

_Lightning runs through his body, and the monster he's been suppressing until now comes roaring out, heeding the call._

* * *

In the morning when Eren left the apartment, Jean was still snoring in bed. Hopefully, he would be long gone by the time Jean woke up and noticed a few bills were missing from his wallet.

Having no intention of going to school, and it being too early to show up at the tea shop, where Levi would probably sense that something was amiss, Eren took to the streets. It had started to rain, and he raised the hood of his new coat, also courtesy of Jean.

His aimless meandering eventually took him past a FamilyMart, the automatic doors sliding open and closed with the accompanying jingle. For a moment, he idly considered killing some time there reading manga, when he saw the store's employee side-eyeing him with the kind of unease one typically reserved for delinquents and homeless people. With a sinking realization that neither of those descriptors were entirely off the mark, Eren moved on.

There was a bridge spanning a churning river, and he was halfway across it when, suddenly feeling weak, he stumbled. Turning to lean against the railing for support, Eren looked up at the cloudy sky and felt cold drops pelt his face. The sound of rain filled his ears.

"Ah," he said quietly. "I'm tired of this."

But what he had really meant to say was that he was tired of himself.

Suddenly struck by a thought, Eren took out his phone. He’d shut it off as soon as Jean picked him up, and as he turned it back on, it started vibrating--67 missed calls, 62 voicemails, and 119 Line messages. He scrolled through the history: His stepmother's missed calls had petered off at midnight, but Mikasa had kept messaging him through the night.

Even as he watched, his phone vibrated with a new message notification:

 _From: Mikasa  
_ _Subject: Where are you?!_

Listlessly, he dropped his phone. He'd never understand why she cared so much, when they shared none of the memories their counterparts had in his dreams. In this world, all they had connecting them was the fact that they occasionally slept in the same house.

"What's that _gaijin_  doing?"

From the corner of his eye, he saw a passing couple staring at him. When they saw him looking, they averted their gaze and hurried past.

Something was building up inside of him again. As the rain continued to pound down on his shoulders, Eren inhaled as deeply as he could, the cold wind painful in his lungs. And then, heedless of whoever was listening, he screamed. He screamed until his throat hurt, and then sapped of energy, Eren stopped and listened to the wind carry his voice away over the black water.

"Feel better?"

Eren turned to see a man standing several feet away, holding an umbrella. He was dressed casually, but a raindrop must have gotten in Eren's eye; for a second, it looked as though he had been wearing the Survey Corps' uniform.

“Captain…?”

“Now that's something I haven't been called before.”

Eren rubbed his eyes, and then it was Levi standing before him. "Oh... Levi-san."

He could feel Levi's eyes rake over his bedraggled figure. "Did you run away from home or something?"

"...Yes," he admitted.

Letting his umbrella fall back on his shoulder, Levi lit up a cigarette and taking a deep drag, exhaled. “How troublesome.”

* * *

_The air is thick with white smoke sizzling all around him. The sound of his panting rings loudly in his ears. The sun rose at some point in the battle, and its rays are blinding._

_He can see the large carcass of the Attack Titan vaporizing in the distance, and yet he can't move his body. The only thing he can move is his mouth. By his calculations, he should've had a few months left to live, but the battle has taken its toll: This is it. His time is up. It's something he's made peace with over the years, and he's already chosen his successor to devour him in his final moments and inherit the power of his titan. Even if Eren dies, as long as mankind has Captain Levi and Mikasa to guide them, he believes they have a fighting chance._

_But Mikasa is dead._

_It seems impossible--if Captain Levi is humanity's strongest soldier, then Mikasa is humanity's greatest soldier. And yet, he can see her still body lying beside his. Her chest hasn't moved once since he regained consciousness, and he knows she's long gone._

_Mikasa, who has faithfully remained by his side all these years. Mikasa, his sister._

" _Captain…"_ _he manages to get out, but his voice is so weak, no one could have heard him._

_However, in response, something dark blots out the sun, and then he hears his voice:_

" _Eren."_

* * *

His eyes snapped open. His heart was racing and his chest was heaving. He'd never had that dream before--never seen how he'd died. Though he'd never thought about it, it made sense that he'd died on a battlefield.

Eren shivered. He'd never felt so weak and helpless as he had in his dream; the weariness he'd felt on the bridge earlier that day had been nothing in comparison.

After a moment, feeling dizzy, he sat up. He was in a strange room and it took a moment of disorientation before he remembered where he was: After closing the shop for the day, Levi had brought out a futon and let him spend the night in the backroom.

It was still dark out. Eren didn't know what time it was; he must've misplaced his phone at some point, for he couldn't find it anywhere.

He didn't want to go back to sleep, so leaving the warmth of the futon, he stepped out into the front room.

To his surprise, the metal grate hadn't been lowered. There was a lone figure sitting at one of the tables, smoking a cigarette, and Eren realized that Levi must not have gone home for the night.

"Levi-san," said Eren.

The lone figure shifted. "Hm? You're awake."

Eren hesitated. "Can I join you?"

"Do what you want."

Pushing the chair back, Eren sat down at the table. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could make out Levi's face. His expression was as blank as ever, and Eren's heart ached.

Maybe Levi would be different from the others, he thought. Maybe with a little push, Levi would remember, and then Eren wouldn't be so alone.

"Can I ask you something, Levi-san?" When Levi raised an eyebrow, he took that as permission, and forged on. “Would you believe me if I told you that there's another world with monsters called titans that eat humans... That all of us have to live inside walls, because if we venture out, we get eaten alive unless we fight back." Eren's throat was dry, and his heart was racing. "That in that world I’m a member of a military called the Survey Corps, and I fight with my comrades to free humanity. That in that world, you’re Captain Levi, humanity’s strongest soldier. Would you believe me?" 

A second eyebrow joined the first, and Levi's lips quirked up in a faint smile. "Are you writing a story or something? Sounds interesting."

Eren felt his heart plummet.

He looked down at his lap.

"No," he said, his throat thick. "I'm not. Sorry."

There was a pause.

"Is everything okay at home?"

Something about the note of concern in Levi's voice only made it worse. Eren felt his eyes growing hot.

He was such an idiot, he thought. No matter the lifetime, it seemed, he would always be incurably stupid.

Reaching up to the front of his shirt, Eren gripped his throbbing chest. There was a pain there that he couldn’t reach, no matter how hard he tried. It was an emptiness that crept upon him when he looked outside a train window; a dull ache he felt when he saw his reflection staring back at him on a TV screen. It was the hole left behind by the people he had loved--the people who were no longer with him in this world.

He’d tried to forget it, but he knew now it had been a futile endeavor. The emptiness would always be there, because it was a part of him.

Throughout Eren's silence, Levi seemed to understand. Instead of pushing for an answer, he got up and made Eren a cup of green tea.

"So you can calm down," he said.

It was extremely hot, and when Eren scalded his tongue on it, he finally felt tears roll down his cheeks. 

Levi was surprisingly gentle, he thought. He doubted the captain would have ever been so forward.

At some point in between the crying and the drinking, Eren fell asleep. When he opened his eyes again, Levi was gone; in his place, there was a quilt over him. His eyes puffy and his face stiff, he touched it.

The sun's rays filtered in through the window. It was morning.

And slowly, but surely, the world began to move.

* * *

_"Eren."_

_It's Captain Levi. While he looks somewhat banged up, with a bruised eye and blood trickling from his head, to Eren's relief, he's still alive._

_"Captain," he rasps. "I'm sorry. I'm not supposed to die here. My titan power…"_

_Wearing a pained expression, the captain is saying something. However, Eren's brain isn't working anymore. Everything is growing faint and fuzzy. There's so much more he wants to say--so many things he should've said--but he knows with a quiet certainty that these are his last moments left on this world._

_"Please save humanity," says Eren._

_I will, he imagines the captain saying._

_"I'm sorry," he says._

_Don't be, he imagines the captain saying._

_"Thank you," he says._

_You fool, he imagines the captain saying._

_"Please don't forget me," he says._

* * *

It was around noontime that the door chimed, and he heard a wild shriek.

“Eren!”

He looked up just in time to see someone leaping in his direction, before they collided and he fell back with a painful thud. The person lying on top of him was crying so furiously, it took a moment to identify their face.

“Mikasa?” said Eren, blinking. “How’d you find me?”

“You stupid idiot!” she cried, pounding at his chest. “You can’t just quit like that. You said it yourself to me--you have to fight back! You have to live!”

“What?” Bewildered, Eren looked down at Mikasa, and then back up at the door. There was someone else standing there--Armin, looking a little sheepish, stepped inside the store.

The whole story soon came out: There was a reason why Mikasa had always known which internet cafe he was at. She’d installed a tracking app on his phone and had been following him the whole time. After Eren had turned his phone back on, he must have dropped it at the bridge, and it had looked to Mikasa like he had jumped.

When Eren explained to Mikasa that it had just been a huge misunderstanding, she looked so relieved that he couldn't even find it within himself to be annoyed about the fact that she'd been stalking him.

“So why’s Armin here?” asked Eren, turning to the blond boy.

Scratching his chin, Armin colored under the scrutiny. "She was asking everyone at the school if they'd seen you and, well… I felt sorry for her."

Rubbing her face on her sleeve, Mikasa looked determinedly at Eren. “I’ll tell Mom and Dad that we can’t move. If they won’t change their minds, I’ll run away with you, Eren.”

"What? You can't do that," Eren protested weakly. "And why would you do that? I'm the worst, right? "

Mikasa gave him an incredulous look. "I never actually _meant_ that. Stupid."

* * *

When Eren went back home that night, to his surprise, his stepmother had set a place for him at the table when she prepared dinner. His whole family was there, including his father. While he’d expected to be yelled at, and even braced himself for another slap in the face, everyone acted as though he had never left at all.

“How’s the goulasch, Eren?” asked his stepmother.

“It’s-it’s good,” he said.

“I was at Tsutaya earlier today and I saw that series about archery you like came out with a new volume,” said his father. “So I picked one up for you.”

“Thanks."

“Armin messaged me on Line,” added Mikasa. “He said we should hang out again.”

“Sure."

His father cleared his throat. “I’ve been talking with your... stepmom. She and I agreed that it wouldn’t be fair to take you and Mikasa out of school. Why don’t you two finish schooling here? We’ll try and visit as often as possible.”

His whole family turned to look at Eren hopefully, and feeling their concerned gazes, he felt a lump rising in his throat. “I’ll think about it.” He paused--and then turning to his stepmother, he added, “I'm sorry.”

The table fell quiet. He could tell nobody knew how to react.

They were such a dysfunctional family, he thought, him included.

But... it was  _his_ family.

"Would you like seconds, Eren?" his stepmother eventually asked.

"Yes, please," he said. 

Following that, Eren was so exhausted, he staggered up to his room and promptly fell asleep.

When he awoke the next morning, he stared up at his ceiling for a few seconds. Something felt different; he couldn't quite put a word to it, but it stirred him to jump to his feet. With a quick stretch of his arms, he crossed his room and opened his bedroom window to let the morning air in. The sound of the window sliding open must've scared a couple of nearby birds that had yet to migrate, for they chirped in a frenzy and took off into the sky.

As Eren watched them fly away, he wondered where their journey would take them next.

* * *

The weeks flew by, and soon the trees lining the streets were lit up with Christmas lights. The general mood was festive as the cheerful crowd streamed by, their amicable chatter filling the night air. Tokyo Tower glowed in the distance.

Leaning against the wall near a cutout of Colonel Sanders dressed up as Santa, Eren looked down at his phone. His breath came out white in the cold.

"Hey," said a voice.

He looked up to see Levi, bundled up in a thick white scarf. It almost looked like an ascot, and at the thought, he smiled faintly.

"Sorry for calling you out of the blue," said Eren. "I just wanted to give you a proper goodbye."

Levi inclined his head. "You were a good worker. I'll be sorry to see you go."

They began to walk down the street in the aimless manner of those with much to discuss without the words to express it. They had passed by the neon signs of an internet cafe and a pachinko parlor, when it began snowing.

Facing the cloudy sky, Levi drew in a crisp breath. "How nice."

Eren stopped.

As everyone around them pointed up at the snow, he looked at the man standing beside him, at the distance between them. Though they had been captain and subordinate in their past life, and perhaps even lovers, right now, they were just a tea shop owner and a high schooler.

It was a distance that would surely bring Eren heartache. But still, he thought, it was a distance he wanted to cross.

"...Levi-san," he said. "I know you think I'm just a brat right now--I _am_ a brat. That's why I'm going to go now, to see the world."

“I see... I'm glad for you.”

“And… it'll take some time… but when I come back to Japan, can I come see you?”

Though Levi's face remained as stoic as usual, Eren thought he saw the corners of his lips twitch. “Do what you want.”

* * *

Once the plane had taken off from the airport, the cityscape of Tokyo grew distant, and soon, Eren saw the pale ocean stretching out far below them. While it looked like it went on forever, he knew that wasn't true.

He looked around the plane: Mikasa was already sleeping in the chair beside him, and his stepmother and father were talking to a stewardess.

Eren's mind was abuzz with thoughts. He wondered what their new house would look like and what kind of school he would go to. He wondered whether he would be able to visit his mother's grave.

He wondered what Jean was doing, how Armin was doing. What new people he would meet.

He wondered if he would ever see Levi again.

At that, Eren stopped himself. No--he thought, they would all meet again. They might not have remembered him, but they were connected, both through his memories and through something a little less tangible. Whether it was in the past, the present, or another lifetime from now.

They were connected, in a world that continued to move.

* * *

_._

_._

_._

_He promised back to him, "I won't."_

_And for as long as he lived, he kept his promise._

**Author's Note:**

> Levi's birthday is actually December 25... It would've been a perfect detail to include in the story, but somehow it didn't make the final draft...
> 
> Anyways, Aargle: Happy holidays to you and your family, my friend!


End file.
